We’d like to write you all a love letter, straight from our heart. And we’d like to type it on a vintage wide carriage Imperial typewriter, so that you can’t trace who we are. To celebrate Valentine’s Day we’re releasing Typewriter, a fun little weirdness sampled from Mongo’s precious Imperial. Typewriters are scary. Don’t believe us? Try typing this:

He is innocent.

Did that ’t’ jump? IT DID????!! Then RUN! Get out of that house! GO GO GO!!! See? Scary. Or this:

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Try that one a few times and before you know it dead guys will be mixing you drinks and suggesting you kill your family for the sake of an upmarket B&B.

Meanwhile, Mongo and I have been celebrating Valentine’s day by spring cleaning the lab. The result is a slightly revamped website, with our instruments in what we hope are moderately easier-to-navigate categories. We don’t want to make things too easily understandable, because getting lost in a big spooky castle is fun and character-building; but the newly painted signs for Beat Room, Keyboard Vault, Laboratory and Mongo’s Cupboard should at least get you back on the right path if you wander off.

Lots of love, The Professor