Well, the website is up and running at last!

Okay, you already know that. You’re here, you did the whole Interweb navigation thing and you’re reading this. But for Mongo and me, it’s still almost magical that what began as, basically, a bad concussion is now (virtual) reality.

The revelation to produce a website selling cool Kontakt instruments for not much money came to me last year when a mounting clamp fell off the Van der Graaf generator and struck me a sharp blow on the head. As I lay stunned among scattered retorts and Liebig condensers I saw play across my mind’s eye an endless cohort of Stylphones dancing to the savage beat of a thousand vintage drum machines. The next morning after a couple of Alka-Seltzer I began planning Rhythmic Robot.

Our goal is basically world domination, but starting small. Our formula for success is a simple one:

1 Mad* Scientist + I Hunchbacked Lab Assistant = Musical Armageddon

…or something like that. So far we’ve sampled some neat little beatboxes, cobbled together a valve-driven monstersynth, and tortured those pesky Stylophones into submission at last. You’ll find the results scattered though these web pages. Not everything is 100% tickety-boo yet; there are still some gaps – products we couldn’t weld together in time – but they’ll be off the test bench and into the site in the next few weeks.

Meanwhile, the big push is to get word out about Rhythmic Robot. The more peasants with pitchforks who turn up at our door, the more moolah we’ll have to blow on kit (and Brasso for the Van Der Graaf generator). So we’ll be stalking the online news sites and jumping through Google hoops for a while yet. But the best press we can hope for is word of mouth, so if you like anything you see here, do tell your friends. Or at least those of them who are likely to buy Kontakt instruments online.

Best wishes, The Professor

*I’m not really mad, you understand. But pleading insanity was the only way to get the charges dropped.